Just when you think everything was alright, you hit a glitch and you take two steps back...

Every little scrape I encounter, I immediately feel like running to my parents and letting them treat me like a kid, they're the ones who face the demons for me. All my life I've been treated like that and it's so hard for me to stand up on my own and face my own troubles and my own hurricanes in life. It's really hard... I realize now that I count on them so much.

Today, I did that. It was hard but I did it. It didn't make me feel good... I don't know why. "Tough times don't last, tough people do" Pao said that to me. And right now, I'm in training to be one. I have to be one hell of a toughie to get thru what I've put myself in.

I miss my life of not worrying about the future, of just doing whatever I want when I want... just living the moment and being totally irresponsible! I guess, I've to think of my future and what I'm gonna do with my life - I have to make myself into a productive member of the society.

I hope this is worth it ten years from now. I sincerely hope I'll laugh and learn a lot then move on. I've asked myself why I'm doing this... and I keep answering that I'm doing this for me.... am i really?