I have the medical school application on my desk and it's already filled up and all my forms are complete. I think of all the cool stuff that I'm going to learn and the fun people that I'm going to meet. Whenever I do, I remember that phrase by one of the characters in Paulo Coelho's Veronika decides to die.... "I'm going to Bosnia. There are people there waiting for me there. Although they don't know me yet and I don't know them. But I'm sure I can be useful, and the danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort."

Yeah... that phrase makes me feel better.

I still have those doubts... How come I can never feel that certainty that this is what I want. I've listed the pros and cons and still that feeling evades me. I don't want to be anything else.... Why not be this, right? Well, I've already said that I will go back to med school. It's just the feeling, that is what I envy the most from those taking med school. I envy them for having that feeling deep down in their heart that this is what they truly want. But then I remember those who are in the same boat as I am... those unsure ones just like me and they're alright.... the thoughts I had back in UST are coming back.

I never really confronted any of them on this little vacation that I took... more like banished them into the far recesses of my mind. I've already made a decision... this time there's no one to blame except me. Time for me to grow up. As I always tell myself... "Suck it up!"