back again?

I have been thinking about returning to med school... but I don't want to go back to my former school. I want to got to a different school but I have this feeling everyone will be telling me to go to the former because its one of the best med schools around. Its just that I don't like it there anymore... They will probably tell me that its just four years... even so! Four years would seem like a decade in a place you don't want to be in. Maybe I will like it, maybe not. Since I have seen it there, I want to go somewhere else because I really don't like the curriculum there. But I can already hear the voices telling me that nothing will compare the the former. I thought about it and of course, if I do become a doctor... the school I will graduate from will always matter. Does the school really matter? I mean, all those doctors from different schools took the same board exam and passed.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that I have finally figured out what I want because I haven't. It's just really hard to let go of something that you've been programmed to be. I guess there is really no way of deleting it... it's always going to be there. As the saying goes; If you can't fight it, join it. I feel that everybody expects more out of me, and yes, even I do. So, maybe this is why I can never be satisfied with myself. I am constantly in a battle with me. Even my own subconscious is pushing me to go... Go where? I just want to be at peace with myself. It's so hard.