Sometimes you just have to let go...

Here are the facts:
1. Pao got a job with better & bigger opportunities.
2. But he'll be based in singapore. (he's leaving end of november)
3. His first project when he gets there is to work for 3-6 months in belgium, therefore he'll be further away.

I don't even know when I'll be seeing him again after he leaves & I don't want to get my hopes up by thinking that its anytime soon...

It's difficult to think that things may never be the same... that what I have with him now is all I'll ever have. Yuck so drama but yes, I'm afraid of that. Sometimes I wonder why this has to happen, I just get on by thinking that the All Mighty has something better planned and that this is what He thinks is good for us. Of course, it's not easy to think of those things but what choice do I have? (I'm half-heartedly thinking of a brighter side to my current situation)

My friends and I started talking about what will happen when he leaves and it hit my really hard that the things that I got used to, I have to start getting un-used to it...

• end of the week movie dates...
• once a month repertory shows...
• daily evening talks...
• stupid conversations...
• studying in his house...
• nights out when i'm free...
• holding his hand during the drive home... (generally just holding his hand)
• of course there are more... definitely a lot more but thinking about it is making me even more sad...

My companion / boyfriend / best friend / partner-in-crime for five years is leaving... we've been together for so long that I already got used to his presence and to our daily routine activities. We both devoted a large chunk of our time to each other. Undoing all that is extremely difficult but not impossible. My friends keep saying we'll be okay, I know we will be but not anytime soon.

Change is biting my ass right now and I'm trying hard to ignore the pain.

I can't tell what the future of my relationship with pao will be but I hope it's one that we can both live with.

Is this suppose to be the part where I start singing?

All by myself
Don’t wanna be
All by myself
All by myself
Don’t wanna live
All by myself anymore...